The Top 10 Songs About Eggs
Thought I'd take a crack at it.
As we’re currently nuts-deep in a pretty overt coup from the richest man in the world, a lot of people are, understandably, thinking about eggs. They’re real expensive right now! Trump got re-elected due to the cost of those friggin’ eggs, you know. Not because of rampant ineptitude by the entire Democratic party. It’s the eggs, stupid.
Egg prices have, of course, only gone up since Trump’s re-election, and given that every federal agency is being actively fucked with and/or dismantled, they’re unlikely to get any cheaper. The bird flu study was already being impacted before the head of the CDC’s H5N1 group resigned on Wednesday. Just … just fun stuff all around. We definitely don’t live in a hellscape!
Also worth noting that people are out there pulling off egg heists, which is a level of initiative I want to see more often from my fellow citizens, quite frankly.
Anyway, to take your mind off the general unpleasantness of absolutely everything, I thought it might be fun to gather together the absolute best songs about eggs ever written. Or maybe this is just bleak. Either way, music can be fun, right? Let’s egg it up!
These are in no specific order, by the way. Just the 10 best songs about eggs. (It was harder to come up with than you might think. Or maybe you thought it would have been hard, in which case is was exactly as hard as you think.)
Dean Martin - “How D’Ya Like Your Eggs In The Morning?”
Granted, this is more of a song about post-coitus pre-noon eggs than about the eggs themselves, but I’m counting it. It’s pretty fun and almost aggressively chaste while insisting the listener understand that Dean is singing about how he absolutely needs to copulate the instant he wakes up. This song is also part of an aggressively chaste musical number from a 1953 film called Young, Rich & Pretty which features a singing chef in a restaurant holding a live chicken, which you don’t want to see at all before having a meal.
Beastie Boys - “Egg Man”
Amazingly, the Beastie Boys have two songs about eggs, along with “Egg Raid On Mojo,” but this number from Paul’s Boutique obviously gets the nod, because Paul’s Boutique is an agreed-upon masterpiece and the Beasties’ pre-rap punk stuff isn’t very good.
Paid subscribers get to listen to more songs about eggs. I’m not sure why I did this.
