Steamed hams

I was recently listening to a very old podcast featuring Bill Oakley, former showrunner of The Simpsons and one of the key figures from the later portion of that show's vaunted "golden years." (It has come to be accepted in the past decade, however, that the "golden age" of The Simpsons is the same as most other decades-long television institutions, like SNL or Doctor Who: the "Golden Age" tends to be whenever you, the individual viewer, began watching it.)

The conversation, perhaps inevitably, turned to "22 Short Films About Springfield," one of the most celebrated episodes of the show and likely the opus of Oakley and his co-showrunner, Josh Weinstein. Oakley claims he never heard any positive feedback about the episode until the past five years or so, and I find that nearly impossible to believe, as it was a strong discussion point for me and my peers immediately upon its release and everyone I knew put it into "instant classic" territory.

The most lasting cultural footprint of that episode is Steamed Hams. I will drop Steamed Hams here, for the benefit of my family who reads this and has the distinct pleasure of not being as internet-poisoned as I am.

It's about three minutes of perfect comedy, perfect postmodernism, and perfect anti-comedy all at the same time. What's more, it manages to be a perfect character study of the two (arguably three) central characters.

On this podcast, Oakley revealed that the 11 credited writers on this anthology episode were all given carte blanche to write vignettes of their respective favorite characters, and as a swerve to what you might be thinking, Oakley said, "My favorite character has always been Superintendent Chalmers."

In response to the shock at the revelation that this ... I don't know ... senary character was his favorite, Oakley explained that it was because Chalmers has always acted as the one and only sane resident of Springfield, reacting to things the way a normal person would react to them. The Simpsons took this to complete extremes later, of course, with the polarizing character of Frank Grimes in what may be the most polarizing episode of the show's run.

But there is a key difference between Chalmers and Grimes, according to Oakley: Chalmers long ago made concessions and necessary compromises in order to exist in Springfield and keep himself sane. He may question Skinner and others and may have to take them to task, but when he's confronted with inanity a bridge to far, he grumbles or sighs and then lets it go, because it just isn't worth it.

Grimes didn't know any of this, and it led to his doom. Chalmers survives and thrives (and is even envied) because he's done the calculus that allows him to retain his sense of self and remain grounded.

It's a good lesson to learn. Retaining your sanity is worth picking your battles. It's advice I'm basically completely unable to follow, but still: strive to be a Chalmers, not a Grimes.