Run on: Sentences

I wrote a bit about this before, when I discussed my lifelong struggle with weight loss, but I was further inspired by a recent post by my friend Action Cookbook, and I think it's finally time to write about the 25-ish years (off and on) that I've been a runner.

My preferred, all-time number one exercise will always be swimming, but I've almost never been in a situation where I've had ready and easy access to a swimming pool. (The two exceptions were when my family had a membership to the Salinas Athletic Club, but I was too young to take that seriously, and when I was living with my grandmother in Oakland and my uncle would sometimes take me as a guest to 6 a.m. swims at a local lap pool, but going to school six days a week meant that I almost never had time for that.)

Circa 2003 (and I may have that date wrong; it could have been anywhere between 1999 and 2003, really), my best friend and I wanted to get serious about fitness, and he had done running for exercise in the past. Running, clearly, is the easiest exercise that one can do (although not always the easiest on the body, obviously). You don't need equipment (beyond shoes), you can do it (nearly) anywhere, and even if you don't do a very good job, you're still out doing it – and you still have to get back somehow, which all amounts to exercise either way.

My friend was living in a room in my dad's garage at the time, and we quickly found a route in my neighborhood that was an almost perfect two-mile loop. It took me a good amount of time to work up to being able to run a full mile without stopping, and friends who observed us observed that my jogging pace was pretty much as fast as other peoples' walking pace. It didn't bother me, though, because I was out there doing it and getting better at it all the time. Pretty soon we started regularly doing two loops (four miles), which took us around forty minutes. For the final span of the last block to my dad's house, we'd always try to sprint it in. I never knew – and I'll never know – the actual pace I was making, but I knew that it took approximately ten minutes per mile, despite whether I ran two, four, or eight miles in a day. (Eight was always my max, and I don't know why; it always felt like the right max.) We didn't have a stopwatch or a pedometer, this was before the age of smartphones, and the only equipment I ever took with me was a Discman, which I carried in the kangaroo pouch of my hoodie and always tried not to jostle.

I had strange rituals with running in those days: I would always keep my hands in my kangaroo pound for the first mile before pumping my arms on subsequent miles. I always wore a hoodie and a beanie to work out the maximum sweat, despite the weather. (This ritual I keep with me to this day, although running hats have replaced the beanies. I usually try to go for a pair of tights under my shorts as well, or joggers. Although I'll see how the summer heat treats me as I continue running this year.)

Throughout my running journey (which has gone through several stretches of multiple years without any runs, whether it be due to injury or lack of fitness or lack of motivation or dumb stuff like having a kid), one thing that has plagued me has been a severe lack of resources and information for overweight runners. It has always been really hard to find tips or recommendations for larger people who primarily want to run for exercise – or who want to. Part of this is that running seems really overwhelming to people who want to do it, and you have to be a True Sicko to ever want to run in the first place. (My wife came up with the idea for us to run a 5K, which was the first official 5K I ever ran many years after running for exercise, and she hated the training experience so much that she never wanted to run again afterwards.) Part of this is that people who run long enough stop being overweight (although when I ran a half marathon and was in tremendous cardiovascular shape I still weighed around 270 pounds). But I think the largest component here is that very little of the world caters to overweight people or gives them consideration at any given time.

I'd like to offer up my services to anyone who needs advice for the overweight runner, but my blanket up-front advice is to do whatever you're comfortable with, and celebrate the small victories along the way. But even after all this time, I'm still always learning about running: what it is, how to get better at it, and how to navigate the divide between what you want your body to do and what your body is actually capable of.

Anyone else I've ever met who runs in any capacity has been capable of a sub-10-minute mile; I never have been, but that's one of the things I want to work toward. I'd like to run more 10Ks; I'd like to run another half-marathon. Someday, if I have the time, I'd like to run a full marathon. One thing I'd really love to do is finish in the top three of my age group in a run, although I don't think there's any chance of that ever happening unless I happen to enter a race where there are only three people in my age group.

Beyond goal and capability, there is one other large divide for the runner: the divide between liking (or loving) running and enjoying being a runner. There have been many times when I have loved running, have loved being on a run, but more often than not I enjoy having been on a run. Running – particularly since I've gotten back into it over the past seven months or so – is often tedious, and can sometimes actually be a drag. I went for a run on Thursday, for example, that absolutely kicked my ass. It was the same distance I'd run the other days of the week, and the weather wasn't out of the ordinary, and I didn't run any faster or harder, but it just destroyed me. Sometimes that's going to happen. But I loved that I did it, even if I hated how it made me feel. But I get a lot of thinking done on runs, and I get to listen to a lot of podcasts, and there's something extremely meditative about being out there and getting into a rhythm and not having to worry about anything other than continuing to move forward.

Recently (due to some scheduling things) I got up early and went on my first 5 a.m. run in many years. It was really wonderful, and not just because of the lack of traffic and lack of having to wait for stoplights. Being up and moving forward and covering miles while everyone else is still asleep and the sun is still rising is a tremendous way to begin your day, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has the desire.

I hope to be able to continue to run, and I hope to continue to find it rewarding. There have been many periods in my life where it has worked for me. It's working for me now, and I'm grateful.